Things I Never Told My Father

It isn’t easy growing up in the Bible Belt of East Tennessee when you start having same-sex fantasies as a child, especially when your father is a preacher who thinks that homosexuality is a sin. Moments of pleasure and the torment of guilt intersect in this memoir by Jeffrey L. Carrier. Exploring his sexuality and trying to make sense of his feelings, he takes us along on his journey of acceptance. Beginning with his childhood in the 1960s, he introduces us to the people who helped him along the way, including his grandmothers, an aunt with a refreshingly open mind, two strong southern women, and a kind and nurturing professor’s wife in Michigan. The joy and pain of loving another man for the first time climaxes with a suicide attempt, and we follow Jeffrey’s journey as he leaves the hills of Tennessee for the skyscrapers of Manhattan. There, he finally comes to terms with his sexuality as the AIDS crisis of the 1980s looms large in the background. His life takes another turn when he meets a long-retired actress trying to reclaim her lost fame by penning her memoirs. She introduces him to a life of old-Hollywood glamour. By turns romantic, heart-wrenching and sentimental, the book is a delightful story of love, loss and gay life in modern America.