Dan Clark Humor Files

THE GREATEST COLLECTION OF LAUGH-OUT-LOUD JOKES IN THE UNIVERSE!! JOCULAR! WAGGISH!! FACETIOUS!!! BECAUSE THE FUNNIEST THINGS HAPPEN WHEN YOU LOOK FOR LAUGHS The mentally irregular material manifested in this manuscript was assembled by Dan Clark during a time when he obviously had a lapse in judgment and forgot he was a world class motivational speaker. Having written over thirty positive, life-changing books, this anthology is shallow and meaningless, destined not for the shelves of your library, but for your washroom reading pleasure as you seek comic relief for a constipated soul. While his books on self-mastery, leadership, team building, parenting, relationship selling, and public speaking were inspired in the breathtaking Irish countryside and beaches of Costa Rica, Dan wrote and compiled this ’piece of work’ in the tiny towns of Weed California, Hooker Oklahoma, Cut n Shoot Texas, Hell Michigan, Toad Suck Ferry Arkansas, Boring Oregon, and Nothing, Total Wreck, Why, and Surprise Arizona! __________ Although many assume that 7th grade was Dan’s senior year, his stellar academic performance actually extended to the three years he was a junior in high school that nearly killed the whole faculty. Yet, because Dan’s cholesterol count was higher than his SAT scores, it was only a matter of time before Dan was performing ’stand up’ in some of the most prestigious comedy clubs in North America including Yuk Yuks in Toronto, The Comedy Store in Los Angeles, Ice House in Pasadena, Caroline’s in New York, and Second City in Chicago. Always upbeat and sometimes ’off-the-wall,’ Dan is famous for visiting sick friends suffering in hospitals with the soul purpose of making them laugh to help them heal through humor! And if that doesn’t work, he gets them a deal on a colonoscopy, which will put a smile on anyone’s face! PUBLISHER’S DISCLAIMER No one can be held responsible for the content in this book! It’s just flat out funny! Of course some of the jokes are edgy, but if you are offended, no apologies, only condolences for having your knickers in a twist, knowing HE WHO LAUGHS - LASTS!