A Field Guide to Homeland Stupidity

'Bob is a deranged human being and my absolute closest personal friend.'- DAVE BARRY, Pulitzer Prize winner, nationally syndicated columnist and author One of the greatest threats to American culture has been right underneath our noses for many years now. No, not terrorism. It is the continued rise in the numbers of stupid people. If you're concerned about where you fall on the national stupidity color alert chart, you can take this little quiz to determine whether or not you're stupid:1.) You go to a local store, which is five blocks down on the left on a busy street. You put on your turn signal:A) After the third blockB) After the fourth blockC) After you turn on the ignitionD) What's a turn signal? 2.) You've just taken a job as a telemarketer. You: A) Accepted it temporarily until you can find something better.B) Are looking to expand your horizons by getting in on the ground floor of a company which will allow you to increase your previous earning potential threefold by doing something you enjoy, communicating with people, usually around dinnertime.C) Just got fired at Wendy's.D) Didn't see any job openings with Big, Fat, Obnoxious TV shows. 3.) You're going to the supermarket. You forget the brand of chicken your wife told you to pick up because it was on sale. You:A) Think about it a little harder, because you are sensitive enough to commit all of your wife's favorite interests to memory.B) Purchase a reasonably priced alternative.C) Buy some extra pretzels instead, to go with all the beer you have at home. D) Be sure and bring your cellular phone so you can call her from the poultry aisle while you have your shopping cart turned sideways in the center of the row, thereby tying up the aisle to hordes of shoppers who are approaching from both directions. With 'A Field Guide to Homeland Stupidity: MORE Lifestyles of the Unskilled and Mediocre,' Bob Holt explains how stupid individuals have integrated themselves into